Saiyans Prefer Blondes
by Huntress Jezz
Summary: Trunks, a typical high school student -who happens to be part Saiyan and engages in battles with aliens from other planets- falls smitten for the blonde and beautiful Usagi -who happens to be a super hero named Sailor Moon-.
1. Chapter 1 The Meeting at Fezzik’s Diner

**Saiyans Prefer Blondes**

_Disclaimer: Any and all characters in this story I did not create nor do I own in anyway shape or form. Except of course for Larry; Larry is my character birthed and written. However all those other characters are created by other people and probably owned by even more people that still aren't me. The characters (that I do not own nor did I create) origins can be found in sources written by __Naoko Takeuchi__ (__Pretty Soldier Sailor Moon), __Akira Toriyama__ (Dragon Ball Z), S. Morgenstern (The Princess Bride Abridged by William Goldman), and__ Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird (__Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Mirage Comics). But Larry is my creation! I am like Larry's GOD!!!!! (btw I also don't own rights nor did I create God._

**Character list****: **

Usagi/Sailor Moon (SM)

Mamoru/Tuxedo Mask (SM)

Ami/Sailor Mercury (SM)

Rei/Sailor Mars (SM)

Makoto/Sailor Jupiter (SM)

Minako/Sailor Venus (SM)

Haruka/ Sailor Uranus (SM)

Michiru/ Sailor Neptune (SM)

Luna (SM)

Artemis (SM)

Melvin [SM (yes it's Umino Gurio, I like his N. American name, sorry.)]

Chibiusa/Small Lady/Sailor Chibi Moon (SM)

Trunks (DBZ)

Goten (DBZ)

Gohan/The Great Saiyaman (DBZ)

Yamcha (DBZ)

Piccolo (DBZ)

Vegeta (DBZ)

Krillin (DBZ)

Android #18 (DBZ)

Bulma (DBZ)

Klunk (TMNT)

Fezzik (PB)

Larry

**Chapter One: The Meeting at Fezzik's Diner**

On a sunny Sunday afternoon, the blonde and vivacious Usagi skipped her way through the city on a quest to dine at her favorite food spot, Fezzik's. Fezzik's was a quaint diner owned by a giant of a man and his orange furred cat named Klunk. Usagi had invited Luna to come with her but Artemis forbid it, due to the fact that he claimed that Luna had been flirting with Klunk for months now. Luckily, Usagi had called Minako and convinced her to meet her there. Usagi did not like dining alone in public. There was something about it that just made her feel vulnerable. Besides, she was girl, what if she had to go to the bathroom, who would go with her if she was alone? (Girls always need at least one other girl to go to the bathroom with; if they didn't have other girls acting as their 'spotters' there would be hundreds of thousands of toilet drowning related deaths world wide.)

When Usagi arrived at Fezzik's, Minako was already waiting for her outside the diner.

"Usagi, you're late!" Minako called.

"Sorry!" said Usagi as she ran to her friend's side, "I'm sorry I'm late."

"Well, as long as your period is not late I guess we're fine," Minako smirked walking into the diner.

"What?" Usagi blinked in confusion following her friend inside.

"Never mind," Minako rolled her eyes, "Ask Luna." Usagi and Minako found a table and sat down. As Usagi began studying the menu Minako scanned the diner. Much to her pleasure Minako was able to locate a table brimming with cute boys. There were four boys at the table. Two of the boys looked related, like brothers. The brothers both had dark pointy black hair and arms rippling with muscles. Then across from them was a boy with a delectable sneer and hair the color of a heliotrope flower. Minako couldn't see if his muscles were as firm as the other two, because he wore a blue Capsule Corp jacket, covering his arms. Sadly the last boy at the table was a runt of a man who lacked any hair upon his head at all. Surprisingly though he seemed to be rippling with muscles as well.

_A one night stand perhaps, _Minako thought to herself eyeing the runt, _Not a long term conquest, but defiantly worth at least one rumble. Two if he's packing heavy._

"Oh Minako, there is so much good food here!" Usagi said with glee, "What to order? What to order?" Usagi's eyes scanned the menu with such intensity one would think she might burst a blood vessel.

"Don't worry about, Usagi," Minako giggled glancing at the menu, "I'll order for both of us. I know exactly what to get!"

"Oh good!" Usagi sighed with relief, "Less thinking always works for me!" A few minutes later Fezzik, the diner's owner, waiter, and janitor came over to Usagi and Minako's table. (Klunk is the diner's cook if you're wondering)

"Hello, Lady! Hello, Lady!" Fezzik bellowed greeting the girls, "Orders? Food? Drink? What do you want?"

"Let's see," Minako giggled again, "Two hotdogs, two deep fried Twinkies, two bananas, two éclairs, and two vanilla milkshakes. Make sure the milkshakes have nice thick straws too, would you?"

"Yes Lady!" Fezzik said, "Anything else?"

"No, thank you," Minako grinned. Fezzik wandered off and Minako turned toward her friend.

"Wow, those foods sound yummy!" Usagi said, "What made you choose those anyway?"

"I just chose anything phallic shaped off the menu," Minako's grin widened.

"What does phallic mean again?" Usagi questioned.

"Ask Luna, "Minako sighed.

After a short while Fezzik brought the girl's food to their table, they thanked him, and began eating. Flirtatiously Minako slowly ate her hotdog, occasionally sipping her milkshake while fluttering her eyelashes. Usagi just began to binge her food down, as was her normal behavior. Finally, Minako caught the attention of one of the boys at the table.

Across the diner at the table Minako had been eyeing since her and Usagi's arrival sat Gohan, Goten, Trunks, and Krillin. Goten had noticed the long haired blonde, Minako, across the diner while Krillin, Gohan and Trunks discussed various everyday things.

"So, Gohan," Trunks said, "How's your father?"

"Oh, Dad?" Gohan answered with a mouth full of food, "He died again so he's back in Other World."

"You are so lucky," Trunks said, "I wish my father would die more often. The bastard is always on my case, and making me train till I pass out."

"At least your mom is hot," Krillin mumbled.

"What did you say?" Trunks asked Krillin.

"Nothing," Krillin shook his head, "Never mind.

"No," Trunks demanded, "What did you say?"

"I said your mom is hot!" Krillin admitted.

"Eww," Trunks shuttered.

"Dude, I can't help it! I've thought she was hot since I was a kid," Krillin declared, "Damn, and Bulma's boobs are great! I just wanna nuzzle my face in them and make motor boat noises! I remember the first time I ever saw your mom's boobs. I was like thirteen I think and she---"

"Krillin, if you don't stop I'm going to have to hurt you," Trunks growled not allowing Krillin to finish his statement.

"Trunks," Gohan contributed, "I must admit Krillin has a point. Your mother's breasts look as if they would be quite good to play motor boat with."

"Shut-up," Trunks glared, "How would you feel if we talked about your mom?"

"Oh lets not talk her," Krillin shivered, "That demon woman probably has razor blades in her vagina. Gohan's dad probably dies on purpose just so he doesn't have to go home to that cunt."

"Hey!" Gohan said offended.

"Guys!" Goten interrupted.

"What?" Trunk said, turning his attention to Goten.

"I don't know what nasty stuff you guys are talking about but can we clean up our conversation a bit and take a gander over there," Goten made a had gesture towards Usagi and Minako sitting across the diner. "Now there's a bitch I want to fuck against a bathroom stall!"

"Yeah, but which one?" Gohan asked, "Both of those blondes are hot."

"The one with the red ribbon in her hair," Goten stated indicating Minako.

"Dude, look at that one with the bunned pigtails though," Krillin exclaimed, "She gorging down food like a hurricane."

"Kind of sexy," Trunks sneered, "She eats like a Saiyan."

"Well that settles it," Goten turned to Trunks, "You get Miss Pigtails and the one in the red bow is mine."

"What about me?" Gohan asked, "Who do I get?"

"Don't you have a girlfriend?" Goten accused.

"Gohan may have a girlfriend but The Great Saiyaman doesn't," Gohan winked.

"Too late," Trunks said jumping over Krillin to leave the table.

"We call dibs," Goten said rushing after Trunk's towards the girl's table. Gohan sighed and looked towards Krillin disappointed.

"I don't know what to tell you, dude," Krillin shrugged, "My wife's part robot so I'm sexually satisfied in more ways then one."

Goten and Trunks both grabbed a chair from an empty table and slide the chairs up next to the girls. Trunks flipped the chair around and straddled it backwards, facing Usagi. Goten pulled his newly acquired chair next to Minako.

"I'm sorry to interrupt but my friend and I noticed you too ladies sitting here and well," Goten smiled, "You are by far the two pretties girls we have ever seen in the last ten minutes."

"Oh why thank you!" Minako blushed, "You are so sweet for saying so! My name's Minako."

"Well Minako, my name is Goten," Goten leaned closer to Minako, "and my friend over there is, Trunks."

"A pleasure to meet you both," Trunks said.

"I'm Usagi!" Usagi said with a mouth full of creamy éclair.

"You know Usagi," Trunks said, "you are very beautiful."

"Thank you," Usagi swallowed the éclair leaving behind much of the creamy white filling still covering her mouth.

"You boys seem awfully nice," Minako fluttered her eyelashes, "and handsome too."

"Well then," Goten twirled his finger in a strained of Minako's long hair, "What should we do about it?

"Oh cool, do you guys wanna do something?" Usagi chirped, "We could go to the arcade! I love the arcade!"

"You are so sweet," Trunks shook his head amused at Usagi's childlike playfulness.

"Thank you," Usagi smiled a huge _Cheshire Cat_ grin.

"I want to do dirty things to you in clean places," Trunks winked.

"Heh?" Usagi blinked, terribly confused by Trunks's comment.

"Oh don't mind her, she's a little slow sometimes," Minako giggled.

"I don't get it," Usagi was still blinking rapidly.

"Never mind it, Usagi," Minako instructed, "Just ask Luna later."

Suddenly there was an explosion outside the diner. Shards of glass flew across the diner from the burst of shattering windows caused by the blast outside. Everyone in the diner hit the floor, hoping to avoid injury. Fezzik hid behind the register counter whimpering as Klunk ran out of the kitchen, cursing in Cat-onese. His orange fur stood straight-up in fury.

"What was that?" Usagi said in a muffled voice since she was lying face down on the floor.

"I don't know," Trunks stated, "Wait here!" Trunks jumped up off the floor and looked towards one of the windows that had completely been shattered. "Goten, Gohan, Krillin!" Trunks yelled, "Let's go!" Within an instant, the four boys, led by Trunks, had flown out a broken window and into the sky.

"Where did they go?" Usagi asked.

"It doesn't matter. I'm calling the others on my communicator; I think its Sailor Scout time!" Minako said. Another explosion roared through the air, shaking ground and everything on it.

Outside Gohan, Krillin, Goten, and Trunks had located the source of the explosions. Seven giant space ships hovered above the ground. Two of the ships had dropped large bombs, creating craters beneath them.

"Attention people of Earth," Boomed a voice over a P.A. system projected off one of the saucer shaped ships, "surrender your planet's most valuable resources (latex and personal lubricants) or be prepared to meet your doom!" The seven ships started to hum. A green glow oozed from the hovering saucers, trickling down towards the earth. Transported to the ground through the glow, hundreds of alien military forces appeared; all armed to the teeth.

**(special thanks to my b/f for proof reading)**


	2. Chapter 2 Seven Deadly Spaceships

**Chapter Two: Seven Deadly Spaceships**

"There's so many of them!" Krillin squeaked as he stared at the vast army that the alien spaceships had transported to earth.

"No worries," Goten laughed," We'll get them."

"But just in case," Trunks shrugged, "go back to Kame House and Capsule Corp and get some back up. Okay?"

"No problem!" Krillin yelled as he flew off to find their fellow warriors.

"So how do we go about this?" Goten asked.

"Let's just start hitting things until stuff falls down or gives up," Gohan suggested.

"Good idea. But first-" Trunks began to say. Suddenly a female voice echoed through the air, addressing the space invaders and drowning out all other conversation.

"Hold it right there alien scum!" the female voice said, "We will not allow you to harm our planet! Evil doers will not be tolerated!" The aliens looked around frantically trying to find the source of the voice. Then they all noticed the two sailor suited fighters standing on the roof top of a near by kosher deli.

"I am Sailor Moon!" shouted Sailor Moon.

"And I am Sailor Venus!" shouted Sailor Venus.

"And we will punish you!" Sailor Moon and Sailor Venus chanted in unison.

Goten stared up at the two Sailor Scouts in amazement. They were beautiful and dressed in really tight outfits with short skirts.

"Gohan," Goten said, "I don't think I can fight today, I suddenly have a raging boner."

"Goten control yourself!" Gohan slapped Goten on the back of the head, "Just think of the time you accidently walked in on Mom in the shower."

"Not cool bro!" Goten trembled, his erection shriveling away, "I'll never get a stiffy again with thoughts like that in my head!"

"Damn that Sailor Moon is hot," Trunks said, "Wouldn't it be something if we could get her to make-out with that Usagi chick we just met?"

"Oh crap my boner's back," Goten sighed.

"Let's just start fighting and worry about our penises later!" Gohan flew forward and began attacking the aliens that stood in military formation bellow the first ship. With a nod Trunks agreed and attacked the aliens bellow the second ship. Goten (with a bit of a struggle due to his erection) attacked the aliens bellow the third ship.

"Hey," Sailor Venus whispered to Sailor Moon, "Aren't those the major cute guys from the diner?"

"I think you're right…" Sailor Moon whispered back, "Hey, Venus, I have a question. If they're going to fight does that mean that we don't have too?"

"Nonsense!" Venus said, "Its time to attack." With that said Venus jumped from the top of the building and joined the battle, "Venus Love & Beauty Shock!" Venus's powerful attack cut through the flesh of a cluster of evil invading alien forces.

"Eww," Sailor Moon mumbled staring down at the horde of disgusting aliens. The aliens were short and stubby blob like creatures, with fierce looking strong arms and tentacles instead of legs. Their skin was urine yellow and each alien seemed to be covered from head to tentacle in orange and brown boils. The boils seemed to be continuously discharging putrid purple puss.

"Sailor Moon, don't just stand there!" Venus yelled.

"Oh, alright!" Sailor Moon cried joining the battle, "Moon Tiara Action!" Her Tiara slashed through the atmosphere mutilating any alien in its path.

Sailor Mars, Sailor Jupiter, and Sailor Mercury then arrived at the scene. Each one quickly joined the battle without hesitation.

"Oh God!" Goten yelled, "Why when I have to concentrate on fighting are there suddenly so many girls in tiny short skirts!" The alien army attacked with a storm of grenades. The grenades set off a wave of explosions pulsing rhythmically to the ground. Krillin, at last, returned with Piccolo, Vegeta, Yamcha and Android #18 flying closely beside him.

"I'm back!" Krillin yelled, "And we're all ready to kick some alien ass!"

"Good work Krillin," Gohan said ducking to avoid a ray gun blast from one of the unpleasant extraterrestrials' rifles, "These aliens aren't that tough but there are sure a lot of them!"

"Alright! Let's beat up some aliens!" Yamcha screamed.

"Krillin!" Trunks yelled.

"What?" Krillin shouted back.

"You brought Yamcha?" Trunks scolded, "He has become the most useless bastard on the planet! Why would you bring him!?"

"Give Yamcha a break, Trunks," Android #18 said, "With you kids growing up so fast Yamcha's one use as a babysitter has become obsolete!"

"With any luck he will die in battle and no longer be a bother," Piccolo added as he delivered a mighty punch, knocking down several rows of alien invaders.

"Cowabunga!" Yamcha shrieked charging towards a group of aliens.

Brandishing his sword, Trunks sliced through many alien enemies; five and sometimes seven at a time. Utilizing Bakurikimaha, Vegeta quickly eliminated two of the seven space crafts. Tentacles, without owners, flung about the battle field, still twitching as they hit the ground. Blissfully enjoying the sounds of aliens dying Vegata laughed and flew through the crowd of invaders ripping open each throat he passed. With ease Piccolo used his Makenkosappo to destroy a third ship and then a fourth. Krillin concentrated on the land attackers gashing through them with multiple Destructo Discs. Shrieks of the dying alien aggressors echoed as their blood spewed from their bodies. Sniping aliens with energy blasts Gohan and Goten competed to see who could build up a grander death count. Android #18 tore through the chest cavities of the invaders with one blow of her fist. Corpses and pieces of aliens were tossed about like confetti.

On the other side of the battle field the Sailor Scouts destroyed a massive quantity of aliens with there vicious attacks.

"Mars Burning Mandala!" Mars yelled scorching her opponents with a circle of fire.

"Jupiter Supreme Thunder Dragon!" Jupiter called out blasting an alien ship into scrap metal.

"Mercury Bubble Spray!" Mercury said filling the air with bubbles.

Vegeta glared over at the Sailor Scouts across the battled field, "God damn it, who are these bitches and why are they spraying bubbles about!?!"

"They're helping, Dad!" Trunks called out to his father.

"I don't need help!" Vegeta spat back, "I am a Saiyan! Saiyans don't need help from bubble blowing bitches!"

"Calm down, Vegeta," Krillin laughed, "Why do you always have to be such a spazzoid?"

"Shut-up!" Vegeta bellowed, "You're just jealous because I'm fucking Bulma."

"Hell, I'm jealous that you're fucking, Bulma," Android #18 cackled as she snapped the necks of her foes.

"Stooooooop," Goten squealed, "You guys are making my erection worse!"

At a long last the tedious battle finally came to a close. (After 1 hour 46 minutes and 34 seconds to be exact) The space invaders were defeated. (With a record of only a 144 count of dead innocent bystanders) Finally the Earth was once again safe.

"Victory!" Vegeta chuckled as he flew away from the battle field covered in alien blood.

"After battle sex?" Android #18 suggested to her husband.

"Take me. I'm yours," Krillin blushed as Android #18 grabbed his wrist and drag him off to have her way with him.

"I'm defiantly going home to masturbate now!" Goten flew off.

"Awww crap," Piccolo said staring down at Yamcha's body.

"Is he dead?" Gohan said hopefully.

"No," Piccolo said, "He's still twitching."

"Should we give him a Senzu bean?" Gohan asked.

"No," Piccolo grumbled, "Let's just take him to the hospital. He's not worth wasting a Senzu bean." Piccolo picked up Yamcha's twitching useless body and flew towards the hospital, with Gohan close behind.

By the time Trunks had finished listening to the antics of his warrior companions the Sailor Scouts were gone.

"Shit," Trunks said kicking the ground. I wanted to talk to that Sailor Moon girl."

"Oh thank you!" an annoying voice shrilled out. Trunks turned to see a nerdy, over-sized glasses wearing, twig of a human boy come running towards him. "Hello, my name is Melvin!" the boy said, "And I just wanted to say thank you for saving us all!" Melvin hugged Trunks.

"Ummm, okay" Trunks said, "Stop hugging me or I'll snap your arms off."

"Okay!" Melvin said releasing Trunks from his hug, "But you are still my hero! Anything you need, I will get for you! Anything you want to do to me, I am here to be abused! I am your grateful slave!" Melvin got on his knees and bowed down to Trunks.

"You got brain damage or something, Nerd Boy?" Trunks stated, "Get up."

"Yes my hero, I shall rise at your request!" Melvin sang, "Anything else I may do for you my wonderful hero?!"

"No, now go---" about to tell Melvin to go away, Trunks paused and thought a moment, "Wait," Trunks said, "Do you by any chance know anything about that girl Sailor Moon?"

"Sailor Moon?" Melvin tittered, "Oh me and Larry know all about Sailor Moon. She's my hero too. I've been stalking her for years."

"Who's Larry?" Trunks questioned.

"Oh how rude of me! This is Larry," Melvin gestured beside him. There was no one standing beside Melvin.

"Uh, I don't see him," Trunks said.

"That's because only I can see him," Melvin said, "My mom says he's imaginary, but she drinks a lot so I know she's wrong."

"Whatever," Trunks rolled his eyes, debating whether or not to leave.

"Larry has been my good friend for awhile now," Melvin explained, "You see last year my girlfriend drank a whole bunch of windshield wiper fluid right after the first time we had intercourse…anyway long story short, then I met Larry, and he's now my best friend!"

"So do you know about Sailor Moon or not?" Trunks sighed.

"Of course!" Melvin said happily as he pulled out a small notebook and flipped it open, "Let's see…Sailor Moon is really a high school student who is often found talking to cats with little crescent moons on their heads. She was dating this guy named Tuxedo Mask but he's 'out of commission' for awhile on account of somehow he manage to skewer his own penis with a red rose. Sailor Moon's favorite color is pink, her favorite perfume is called Hathor's Vanilla Dalliance, and she often wears lacy underwear that suites her favorite color…."

"Do you know what her real name is?" Trunks asked.

"Of course!" Melvin told Trunks, "Her real name is Usagi. I have her address, home phone number, cell phone number, e-mail, and MySpace page if you want it."

"Home address and cell phone should be fine for now," Trunks pondered a moment, "Did you say, Usagi?"

"Yep, yep, yep!" Melvin answered.

"Wow, I wonder if it was the same Usagi I was talking to in Fezzik's." Trunks chuckled.

Melvin nodded, "It was."

"You know that for a fact?" Trunks raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, yes," Melvin nodded again, "Larry and I were stalking her today. We took notice that she was wearing her pink panties with the violet fridge today." Melvin got quiet for a moment and stared at the empty space next to him and began behaving as if he was listening to someone. Turning back to Trunks, Melvin said, "Larry told me to tell you that we are currently auctioning a pair of Sailor Moon's panties online, but since you're our hero and all, we will be willing to give them to you for free. Besides we have plenty more. The current pair for auction is a pair of pink cotton panties with a picture of a white fluffy rabbit on the front and a carrot on the back. A SUGGESTIVE carrot if you know what I mean!"

"Thanks, but no thanks," Trunks said, "I live with my dad and my dad has some major anger issues towards carrots; so I'm not allowed to bring anything with a carrot or resembling a carrot into the house. My little sister left a carrot out once for the Easter Bunny and my dad…kind of well…went ape, literally. And now we go and visit the Mailman's grave every Easter Sunday"

"Ah I see," Melvin swallowed, slightly frightened by the story. Melvin could tell Larry was now a little nervous too. "Uh so we have other panties…without carrots of course." Melvin offered, "Larry says you might like the blue ones with the pink sparkly stars on it…."

"No, that's okay," Trunks laughed, "Just give me her address and cell phone number. I have my own way of getting a hold of Sailor Moon's panties."

**Special thanks to my littlest sister for helping me edit this chapter in between her very busy college responsibilities. **

**(And extra thanks because she brought me back a cute wooden turtle key chain from Cuba!)**

**More chapters coming real soon. I promise! Your reviews inspire me to write and edit quicker! Thank you for your support.**


	3. Chapter 3 A Crusade for Trunks

_[New Character Alert: Bakula (birthed and written by me with help from Larry. Hey, if I imagined and invented Larry I can imagine and conclude Larry's helping me. That's normal right?)]_

**Chapter Three: A Crusade for Trunks**

Trunks had a problem. He talked big and acted tough when it came to girls, but inside he felt nothing but nervous and awkward around them. It was a normal problem most teenage boys suffered from, but in Trunks's case his issues ran deeper. Although physically powerful, financially well off, and a highly skilled fighter; Trunks always felt like an underachiever. His self esteem was low, his expectation regarding acceptance from others was terribly pessimistic, and he never felt like he could ever be good enough. (Imagine that, a child of Vegeta suffers from a self esteem problem…big shocker!)

"What am I going to do?" Trunks said to himself, as he lay in his bed staring up at his bedroom ceiling. Next to him on the bed sat a piece of notebook paper with Usagi's information on it. Trunks had just requested her cell phone and home address but Melvin insisted he take her home phone number, e-mail, and MySpace page information as well. Trunks couldn't get the image of the gorgeous wide-eyed Sailor Moon out of mind. He loved the way her long blonde hair swirled about in the wind. He cherished the way her voice chirped with playful naivety. He adored the way her short skirt flew up as she jumped about in her tiny sailor uniform….

…with a groan Trunks undid the button and zipper to his pants in hopes to relieve the painful pressure of his restrained erection. With his penis finally able to breathe Trunks sigh. "What am I going to do?" he said again. Deciding it was best to postpone thinking more about the issue until after he took care of some matters at hand (literally), Trunks began his afternoon routine.

After a few hours of masturbation and a couple of hand cramps later, Trunks decided to take a shower.

As the soothing water from the shower head trickled down his nude body, Trunks had an idea. He wasn't sure if his idea was romantic or creepy but at least he had an idea. He wouldn't call Usagi; he'd sneak into her bedroom window instead. Tomorrow night, around 11:30pm, he'd sneak through Usagi's bedroom window and wake her.

Trunks figured, _That Prince Charming guy most likely got sex after waking Sleeping Beauty, so why shouldn't this plan work regarding the penetration of Usagi's Cave of Wonders?_ Realizing he had made two Walt Disney owned references in relevance to sex; Trunks shook his head and tried to rid his mind of naughty animated thoughts. Sadly The Little Mermaid quote, _"__Darling it's better; down where it's wetter,"_entered his mind before he could control himself.

The next night at approximately 11:30pm, Usagi lay asleep in her bed. Since it was a warm night it was only fitting that she chose to only wear a large, off the shoulder, pink t-shirt to bed and a pair of white cotton panties. Trunks must have watched Usagi lay sleeping for nearly fifteen minutes before he mustered up the courage to fly into her bedroom through her window. Hovering above her he gazed down at her sleeping body.

"I'm not sleeping you know," Usagi's eyes opened and looked up at Trunks. "You're the guy from the diner right? And then you helped the Sailor Scouts fight off the alien invasion, right?"

"Yeah…" Trunks said. His mind was suddenly flustered and he was unable to come up with any form of a line or phrase that could remotely be classified as suave or witty.

"So…" Usagi began as she sat up in her bed. Trunks hovered towards the foot of Usagi's bed and sat down so Usagi had more room to sit up. He was very carefully not to get his boots on her clean bed sheets and blankets. If he could not think of anything charming to say he could at least be polite. "So…" Usagi began again, "I'm slightly concerned that you've broken into my bedroom, but you helped saved the world today so I'm guessing you're not evil. Right?"

"Yeah…"Trunks coughed, "I'm not evil." This whole scenario was not going as Trunks planned. Of course in his initial plan he was supposed to be smooth and dashing and sweep Usagi off her feet into spirals of passion! It wasn't working out that way; his mind had gone blank.

"Its getting a little creepy having you in my room and not knowing why you're here," Usagi stated, "Sorry. Was that rude?"

"No!" Trunks blurted out, "I mean it's a legitimate question. When a person comes into your room in the middle of the night unannounced you probably have the right to know why."

"Probably," Usagi nodded.

"And it would be proper etiquette for that person to explain to you the very reasons why he's in your room," Trunks took s deep breath.

"Okay," Usagi nodded again.

"So I should probably tell you why I'm here," Trunks couldn't bring himself to make eye contact with Usagi. His eyes kept darting around her room, looking at anything besides her.

"You seemed a lot more sure of yourself in the diner," Usagi pointed out, "You were calmer and less fidgety too."

"I…I…." Trunks's palms were starting to sweat. This was by far the worst idea he had ever had.

"Are you here to hurt me?" Usagi questioned tilting her head to the side not seeming terribly concerned.

"No!" Trunks exclaimed, "Defiantly not here to harm you in anyway."

"Do you have a message for me you're here to deliver?" Usagi suggested.

"No…" Trunks sighed and took a deep breath. This situation was getting ridiculous. It was time to just say whatever he could think of and just get this over with. Then she could just reject him and he could go home.

"Trunks, was your name right?" Usagi asked.

"Yes, My name is Trunks Briefs," Trunks answered, "I admit I'm acting a lot less confident now than at Fezzik's because I am nervous as all hell. I am awesome with pick up lines, and initial flirtatious remarks but everything after that…." Trunks paused, clenched his fists and closed his eyes, "I was too nervous to call, so I decided to try this scenario, which I can see is going very badly and your getting mad at me and I'm sorry for bothering you and-and-and you were just so pretty in the diner and then when I found out you were Sailor Moon that just made you even sexier and-" Trunks had begun speaking at a great speed that was continuing to gain momentum, "and this kid Melvin told me where you lived and all your information so I could find you and I actually think he's stalking you and maybe you should be concerned and the bottom line is I'm just a stupid, stupid, stupid virgin who has no idea how to approach someone like you and I'm much better at punching things and slicing things up with a sword and you're so sexy I just wanted to enter your Cave of Wonders….." Trunks inhaled deep and let out a long exhausted breath, "I'm sorry for bothering you…."

Usagi blinked. Then she blinked again. Then tilting her head to the right and to the left she sighed and blinked some more. Finally she said, "I understood everything but that Cave of Wonders thing….wasn't that from a movie?"

"Yes…" Trunks answered.

"So Melvin knew I was Sailor Moon?" Usagi inquired.

"Yes," Trunks confirmed, "He also seems to be selling your panties on the internet as well."

"Do you know if he's selling my silk black ones with the glittery, pink hearts on it?" Usagi asked, "Because those have been missing for weeks."

"Uh…I don't know," Trunks shrugged surprised by the calmness in her tone of voice, "I know he has pink cotton panties with a white rabbit on them and blue ones with pink, sparkly stars."

"Oh those I know he has," Usagi giggled, "I gave those to him."

"You did?" Trunks asked perplexed.

"Yep," Usagi responded gleefully, "I needed money for my mother's birthday gift so he said I could sell him the one with the pink stars. And then I needed money to go on a trip with my friends so I sold him the other one. For some reason when I don't wash them before giving them to him he pays me more money. I don't really understand it, honestly." Usagi snickered, "Boys are so confusing."

Trunks's mouth hung open astonished. Usagi leaned forward and closed it for him. He noticed she wasn't wearing a bra when she leaned forward. "Wasn't expecting to learn that about you…the panties thing I mean."

"So basically you came here to get to know me better, since we met at Fezzik's and then saved the world together." Usagi smiled, "That's nice. It's good to make new friends."

"I was hoping for a more than friend situation," Trunks muttered. Usagi looked at him questioningly. "Romantically…." Trunks tried to explain.

"Romantically?" Usagi said surprised, "Oh that's so sweet but I have a boyfriend. His name is Mamoru. I can't be your girlfriend. My mother always said it's unethical to have more than one boyfriend."

"Oh…I….uh," Trunks stumbled over his words, "I wasn't thinking like that. Frankly, I don't know you well enough to be your boyfriend. I was just kind of thinking sex…."

"Oh, just sex?" Usagi chirped, "We can definitely do that! Cute guy like you, I bet this will be fun!"

"What? Really? You mean it?" Trunks said nervously.

"Yep," Usagi smiled, "Do you want to have sex now or schedule it for some other time?"

"Uh…now is good," Trunks said dazed.

Since Trunks had arrived, unbeknownst to him, Luna had been sleeping soundly in the corner of Usagi's room. Her little cat body, snuggly nestled on top of a pile of laundry. While Trunks and Usagi's conversation had commenced Luna slowly and lazily began to emerge from slumber. With a yawn, Luna's ears perked up and she began listening in on the conversation. As soon as Usagi had said, "Do you want to have sex now…" Luna stood up, now fully awake. Worried that she might be an audience to a show she really didn't what to see she scurried over to Usagi's bedroom door and began scratching at it.

"Meow, meow, meow!" Luna begged as she scratched at the bedroom door, hoping Usagi would get the hint that she wanted to be let out of the bedroom and she wanted to be let out now.

_It would be so much easier if I could just tell Usagi I want to be let out, _Luna thought to herself, _But if I talk, then Usagi is going to have to explain to this male visitor why she has a talking cat…Oh Usagi please let me out of this room!_

"Do you want to be let out Luna?" Usagi turned and looked at her black furry friend clawing at the bedroom door.

"MEOW!" Luna shrieked desperately.

"Okay I'll let you out," Usagi said walking over to the bedroom door.

"Meow, meow, meow, meow," Luna continued.

"Trunks, take off your shirt, boots, and pants," Usagi commanded as she opened the door to let Luna out. As so as Usagi opened the bedroom door, Luna left, sprinting into the hallway. (Possibly breaking the sound barrier). Fumbling clumsily, Trunks obeyed and removed his boots, shirt, and pants.

Eagerly waiting for Usagi to return to the bed Trunks mentioned, "You did hear me before when I said I was a virgin right? I mean I hate to bring it up again but I figured I should warn you ahead of time since my performance will probably be…uh...lacking…."

"Huh?" Usagi walked back to the bed and sat down beside him and rubbed his shoulders, "Don't worry. All that you being a virgin means, is that we're going to have to have sex more than once before we can do it right. Besides, they are always saying 'practice makes perfect' on those educational television programs, so it must be good advice."

"Oh…" Trunks blushed as Usagi continued to rub his shoulders and leaned in closer to kiss his neck. Usagi's eyes glanced down to the generous protuberance in Trunks's boxer shorts.

(And the answer to the ultimate question is: Yes, Trunks wears trunks not briefs.)

"Wow, cool…" Usagi smirked, "if the bulge in your boxers is that big then that means…" With great excitement Usagi pulled Trunks further onto her bed and pushed him backwards so his head landed on her pillow. Trunks, slightly stunned, inhaled sharply.

"Your pillow smells like vanilla," Trunks noticed as Usagi quickly freed him from his underwear.

"Fantastic!" Usagi giggled.

"What?" Trunks asked.

"You are a good size," nodded Usagi pleased with her current situation.

"Really?" Trunks gave a half smile as a flash of an untapped self-worth sparked within him.

"Wait here," Usagi sprang from the bed and scampered to her dresser, "I want to get my tape measurer!"

"What? Tape measurer?" Trunks sat up straight in the bed, very alarmed, "No, please, you are making me feeling uncomfortable."

"Oh silly purple-head," Usagi pulled a pink, bunny shaped tape measurer from her top dresser drawer, "This will be fun!" Sadly though, by the time Usagi rushed back to the bed Trunks's erection had dwindled at least half-way. Usagi looked disappointed.

"What did you think would happen?" Trunks said frustrated, "You made me anxious with that tape measurer idea."

"No problem, easy fix," Usagi kneeled in front of Trunks on the bed a bowed her body downwards. Trunks twitched the first instant her lips touched his penis but then quickly began to feel as if he were melting as her mouth's warm and moist embrace engulfed his entire member. Shortly after, his penis once again became fully tumescent. "See all better," Usagi said with her mouth full. With her tongue gently slithering from side to side, Usagi removed Trunks from her mouth.

"Wow," Trunks sighed with is head spinning.

"Now let's see how big." Usagi picked up the tape measurer beside her, extended it, and began measuring. "I knew it!" Usagi sang, "Just over 9 inches!"

"Is that good?" Trunks questioned.

"Are you serious?" laughed Usagi, "That's very good! Don't you know that? Don't boys talk about stuff like this? Didn't you ever measure?"

"No," Trunks shrugged, "I assumed it would just be something else I was inadequate at."

"Didn't you ever play sports? Locker room showers with other players on a team? Cup size banter?" Usagi said.

"I wasn't allowed to play sports," Trunks explained, "My mother wouldn't let me."

"Was she afraid you'd get hurt?" Usagi closed the tape measure and tossed it off the bed.

"No, she was afraid I'd kick a soccer ball through someone's chest or embed a hockey puck into someone's skull," Trunks looked down. The saliva Usagi had left behind was now making his penis a little chilly.

"Well," Usagi took off her pink t-shirt and tossed it off the side of the bed, "Your penis is defiantly a good size at nine inches, but most importantly you have a super, fantastic girth to it as well."

"Most important?" Trunks asked watching Usagi's naked breasts press against the covers as she leaned over the side of the mattress reaching for something underneath the bed.

"Yep, girth is the most important." Usagi validated, "As Bakula, the old homeless lady down the block says 'Short and thick always does the trick; but God blessed him twice if he's got a long stick!'" Usagi sat back up on the bed now holding a pink box with multiple plastic jewels and sequins glued to it. She opened it and handed it to Trunks. Trunks looked into Usagi's cute little pink box. It was filled with an enormous selection of different varieties of condoms. Seeing the confusion on Trunks's face Usagi smiled. "Use one of the condoms in the blue pack. The size should fit you, but other than that it's pretty basic."

"Oh, okay," Trunks pulled out the blue pack and quickly skimmed the directions explaining application and then selected a condom from the pack and opened its rapper. After slipping off her panties, Usagi climbed around Trunks so she could lie down on the bed with her head resting on the pillow. Nervously, with condom in place, Trunks positioned himself on top of Usagi.

"Go for it," Usagi winked. Taking a deep breath Trunks set forth on his first spelunking crusade. However as soon as he entered Usagi his body quivered and he let out a moan.

"Damn it," Trunks cursed.

"Did you?" Usagi asked.

"Yes," Trunks grumbled climbing off of Usagi and then lying down beside her. "I went off."

"I told you we were gonna have to have sex more than once," Cuddling close to Trunks she rested her head on his muscular chest, "Just tell me when you're ready again."

When Trunks was ready they had sex again. And again. And again. And again. And then once more before Trunks left as the sun came up. However, it only took until the second 'And again' for Trunks to _truly_get the hang of it and then on the third 'And again' Usagi was able to confirm his grand improvement _multiple times_.

Usagi was late for school the next day, but no one really noticed it since it wasn't out of the norm.

**It was pointed out to me that I make more American dubbed references than just Umino Gurio's name; especially stuff regarding Krillin (Kuririn). I apologize for not putting such things in my disclaimer from the get go but I am the product of American television so…whatever. Just thought I'd mention it before anyone else calls me on it.**

**HUGZ & LUV**


	4. Chapter 4 Trunks and Usagi’s First Kiss

**Chapter 4: Trunks and Usagi's First Kiss**

Fezzik's Diner was filled with the laughter and chitchat of a gaggle of girls. Ami, Rei, Makoto, Minako, and Luna sat in one of the diner's booths sipping on milkshakes and sharing a basket of french fries. Artemis was there to, but his main purpose was to keep an eye on Luna and make sure she didn't flirt with Klunk. He had noticed that now and then Klunk would stick his head out from behind the door that lead to the kitchen and stare at their table.

"These french fries are good," Minako said reaching for a french fry and dunking it in the puddle of ketchup on the plate before her, "but next time I think we should get the curly cheesy fries."

"Yes, defiantly," Makoto agreed filling her mouth with three fries at once, "or maybe the butterfly fries instead?"

"Oh yummy," Minako nodded, "Defiantly the butterfly fries next time, I haven't had those in ages."

"What do you think Ami?" Makoto asked.

"I think any form of french fries is filled with saturated fats and salt," Ami answered without looking up from her Math textbook. "But I would be inclined to prefer the butterfly fries as well."

"Enough about food," Rei interjected, "Luna, I want to hear about this new guy Usagi has been spending so much time with."

"What new guy?" Makoto asked.

"His name is Trunks," Minako sneered, "He is very cute and Usagi and I met him right here in this diner about two weeks ago. His friend was pretty cute too actually, I have to remember to get Usagi's new fuck-buddy to give that Goten guy my number."

"Fuck-buddy?" Rei exclaimed, "So they're really hooking up?"

"Yes, quite often actually," Luna nodded, "I've been sleeping out in the hallway most nights they are at it so much."

"What?" Artemis said, "Why didn't you tell me? You can come over to Minako's and share my bed. There's plenty of room and we can cuddle and purr and stuff."

"NO WAY!" Luna glared at Artemis, "I'm never sharing the same bed with you again. Every time I fall asleep next to you, you try to have anal sex with me!"

"What about Mamoru?" Rei wondered.

"I guess I could stay at his place," Luna thought, "He probably wouldn't anally rape me."

"No," Rei rolled her eyes, "I mean if Usagi is shagging this diner guy, what about Mamoru?"

"Well his penis hasn't been functioning since that rose accident," Luna said.

"Besides," Makoto added, "Usagi said the sex wasn't that good anyway."

"But they get married in the future!" Rei insisted, "Their daughter, Chibiusa, even came back in time and we all met her. We met Usagi and Mamoru's daughter!"

"Did you ever really take a good look at Chibiusa though," Ami said looking up from her textbook, "She had pink hair. Pink hair. Usagi has blonde hair and Mamoru has black. Genetically that combination doesn't make pink hair. Now Minako mentioned to me the other day that this diner guy's hair is light purple…."

"But in the future," Rei let out a breath of frustration, "Mamoru claimed to be Chibiusa's father."

"Stupid girl," Artemis laughed, "I can claim to be the father of a tea cup, but that doesn't mean I really am. All it means is that some woman told me I was and I believed her." Artemis turned to Luna, "By the way Luna, I wanted to talk to you…"

"I told you," Luna hissed, "get a DNA test if you'd like. I know what the results will be and you will still be paying child support!"

"What are you girls gossiping about?" A voice asked. The girls (and Artemis) looked up from the table to see Haruka and Michiru standing beside their booth. "So?" Haruka said, "Are you going to tell me the gossip or not?"

"Usagi's made a new friend," Makoto said.

"A well endowed friend from what she's told me," Minako added.

"Well," Haruka shrugged, "unless he's a crack addict who beats her, he's most likely at least a step or two up from Mamoru."

"Haruka," snickered Michiru, "That's a horrible thing to say."

"I just hope Usagi is using protection," Ami said, "We don't want her getting myxomatosis."

"Speak of the devil," Rei said looking at the entrance to the diner.

"Usagi?" Haruka questioned.

"Wrong devil," Minako corrected, "It's the boy-toy." The girls watched as Trunks walked into the diner and up to the cash register. (No one noticed that Artemis had taken it upon himself to finish the french fries.)

"Hey Lady," Fezzik greeted Trunks.

Sighing Trunks said, "Fezzik, we have gone over this. You can't call everyone 'Lady.' People are going to get angry. Unlike me, not everyone was raised by a horribly verbally abusive father and is as used to being called 'Lady' as I am. Me, and every other male that comes in here are not ladies. Okay?'

"Okay, Not-Lady." Fezzik grinned.

"Thank you Fezzik, that's much better," Trunks said, deciding he wasn't going to get any better than being called 'Not Lady.'

"Take-out order?" Fezzik asked.

"Yes," said Trunks, "I'm here to pick up take-out order number 42."

"No problem," said Fezzik as he reached through the window behind him that led to the kitchen. Placing a large brown paper bag on the container beside the cash register, Fezzik looked at Trunks, "Give me money I give you food, okay?"

Still staring over at Trunks, Makoto nudged Minako and whispered, "Call this Trunks guy over here."

"Why me?" Minako whispered back.

"Because," whispered Makoto, "You're technically the only one that knows him." With a nod toward Makoto, Minako stood up.

"Hey, Trunks," Minako shouted and waved, "Hello!" Trunks turned around. It took him a moment but he finally recalled that this blonde with the big red bow in her hair was the girl Goten had been flirting with. She was Usagi's friend. Trunks waved back to her.

"Thank you Not-Lady," Fezzik said to Trunks after he paid and took the brown bag from the counter. "Please come again, Not-Lady!"

"Thank you, Fezzik," stated Trunks as he headed over to the booth where Minako sat.

"Hello Trunks!" Minako greeted joyfully, "It's so nice to see you again!"

"Your name is Minako, right?" Trunks asked to confirm.

"Guilty!" Minako giggled, "Oh and these are also friends of Usagi." Minako began pointing to her friends as she introduced them by name, "That's Ami, Rei, Makoto, Haruka, and Michiru."

"Hi," greeted Rei, Ami, and Makoto in unison.

"Sup?" Trunks greeted.

"Nothing much," responded Haruka, "What's up with you?"

"Just picking up dinner for my mom, she's working late in the lab tonight." Trunks showed them his bag that had the take-out food in it.

"Did you say 'lab'?" Haruku raised a questioning eyebrow. "Is that like a job or does your mom have a weird hobby?"

Amused by Haruka's question Trunks said, "Well, I think its just weird hobby stuff tonight, but sometimes it's for work."

"What does your mother do?" inquired Michiru.

"She mainly runs Capsule Corp but she helps invent new products too," Trunks put his free hand in his pocket and readjusted his grip on the hand holding the take-out bag.

"Capsule Corp?" Ami's eyes lit up, "I just read an article about Capsule Corp in one of my science and technology magazines. You're not Bulma Briefs son are you?"

"I am actually," admitted Trunks.

"Your mother's a genius!" exclaimed Ami, "But of course why shouldn't she be, your grandfather, the founder of Capsule Corp, is a brilliant award winning genius inventor himself! They said in the article that you are one day destine to take over the company, is that true?"

"Probably," Trunks slouched a little onto is right leg, "Whatever happens, happens. It's all cool."

"So you have been seeing a lot of our Usagi, I have been told," Haruka said sternly.

"Yep," nodded Trunks.

"I am very protective of Usagi," Haruka said with fierceness throbbing through her voice, "We all are. Very protective."

"That's good to know," Trunks said calmly and confident, "It's good to know that such a sweet girl like Usagi has such loyal and true friends."

Smirking Haruka snapped her fingers, "Good answer, Trunks. I like you. So far I like you."

"Thanks," Trunks took his hand from his pocket and switched the take-out bag into it. The large group of females was suddenly making him feel fidgety and toying with the take-out bag was the best way to conceal it. "Well I have to be going; I don't want my mom's food getting too cold." Walking off, Trunks waved goodbye.

"Bye!" all the girls shouted to Trunks. After Trunks had left the diner the girls looked at each other.

"I can't believe his mother runs Capsule Corp," said Ami.

"That means he's rich," Minako pointed out.

"Rich and handsome," Makoto smiled, "If only he had a brother!"

"But what is Usagi going to do about Mamoru?" Rei worried.

"That guy is defiantly better than that looser, Mamoru," Haruka declared.

"I'd even date that guy," Michiru crossed her arms, "If it wasn't for that one little quality between his legs."

"That quality isn't so little on him," Minako reminded them with a giggle.

As Trunks flew home he realized he would be passing over Usagi's house on the way and it might be a nice idea to visit her for a few minutes. Soaring down to her house, Trunks landed on her front porch and rang the door bell.

"Trunks!" Usagi said happily as she opened the door. Skipping into his arms, Usagi hugged him and he hugged her back (trying not to get the grease from the take-out bag on her pretty orange blouse.)

"I can't stay long," Trunks told her, "I have to bring my mom her dinner, but I figured I could stop by for a minute or two to see you."

"That is so sweet," Usagi gleamed looking into Trunks's eyes.

"Hey, I was wondering," Trunks said releasing Usagi from their hug, "Maybe tomorrow when we hang out, maybe, we mix it up a little."

"What do you mean?" Usagi asked.

"I mean break our routine," Trunks tried to explain, "We always do the same thing. I come over to your house, we have sex, etc…maybe we could do something different."

"Oh okay," agreed Usagi, "Do you want me to use my Luna Pen again to transform into a flight attendant? Or maybe red-headed plumber this time?"

"No, Usagi," Trunks shook his head, "That's not what I meant. I mean would you like to come over to my house instead. We could order a pizza and watch a movie."

"Are you asking me out on a date?" Usagi questioned giddily.

"Ummm," Trunks scratched his head, "Do you actually consider watching a DVD and eating pizza at my house a date?"

"Oh Trunks you treat me far too sweetly!" Usagi chirped, "I'd love to go on a date with you!"

"Great," Trunks smiled, "I'll even pick you up."

"Oh Trunks you're wonderful!" sang Usagi, "We can still have sex too right?"

"We better have sex," chuckled Trunks, "Especially if I'm picking you up and then springing for a pizza."

"What movie are we going to watch?" Usagi asked.

"I don't know," Trunks thought for a second, "Do you want to pick?"

"You'd let me pick?" Usagi said amazed, "You trust me enough to pick out the DVD we're going to watch?"

"Sure," Trunks put his hand on her cheek, "as long as I know I'm getting sex later in the evening I'll sit through any movie you want."

"I can't wait for our date," Usagi felt her heart pounding as if it was going to blissfully burst.

"I'll pick you up tomorrow at three o-clock in the after noon?" Trunks asked.

"Yes, that sounds wonderful," smiled Usagi, "You treat me better than any man ever has."

"Until tomorrow, Beautiful Bunny," Trunks bowed his head slightly and began to leave.

"Wait," Usagi grabbed Trunks's wrist and pulled him towards her. Their eyes met and the world around them got hazy. Pushing upwards onto her tip-toes Usagi stretched to reach Trunks's lips. Tilting his head closer to hers, Trunks pressed his lips to Usagi's. Their kiss sent glorious tremors circling through the air, as if they were suddenly surrounded by a magic dance of fire works.

"Oh Usagi," Trunks moaned as their lips slowly ended their embrace.

Still dazed as if she was in a dream Usagi leaned her head on Trunks's chest, "There's nothing like a first kiss."

* * *

**Special thanks to my b/f for proof reading. xoxo**

**Have I mentioned I get a thrill out of reading reviews of my story? Negative or positive reviews, it's a great feeling to know someone out there is reading what I wrote!**


	5. Chapter 5 Rabbit in the Brief’s House

**Chapter 5: Rabbit in the Brief's House**

_(NOT Raditz. RABBIT. Don't go getting yourself confused now)_

Trunks stood in the candy isle of the Tiki Convenience Store a block from Usagi's house. His eyes gazed at the varieties of chocolate, caramel, gummies, and other sweets that filled the shelves of the isle. Before he picked Usagi up for their date, Trunks wanted to pick her up some chocolates.

_If Usagi thinks pizza and a movie at my house is romantic, wait until she sees that I brought her chocolates too, _Trunks thought to himself with a smile twisting onto to his lips. Trunks selected an oversized white chocolate bar and an equally oversized milk chocolate bar for Usagi. He also made sure to pick up a pack of breath mints for himself. He had brushed his teeth and mouth washed before leaving his house but he didn't want to take any chances in case Usagi blessed his lips with another kiss. After paying for his candy selection Trunks left Tiki and began to head toward Usagi's.

"Hey! Hey!" a voice called out to Trunks. Trunks looked towards the source of the voice to see an old, petite, woman dressed in rags with gray hair that curled about her head like miniature serpents. "Hey, Boy!" she shrilled out again.

"Are you talking to me?" Trunks stopped walking.

"Yes, Boy!" the woman yelled, "come here, Boy!" Reluctantly Trunks walked over to the aged woman.

"Can I help you?' asked Trunks as the sudden realization that the elderly woman smelled like pea soup shuddered into his sinuses.

"No, but I can help you!" she said, "What did you buy in that store, Boy?"

"Chocolate bars and some breath mints," Trunks shrugged.

"OKAY!" shouted the old woman, "I AM BAKULA AND YOU SHALL LISTEN TO ME!"

"Okay…" Trunks took a few steps back from the obviously mentally unstable woman.

"You will listen to me, Bakula, yes?" said the old woman, "Say you will listen to Bakula."

"I will listen to Bakula," Trunks nodded slowly moving farther away from her.

"I only eat candy corn," Bakula declared, "It's the only thing safe to eat now a day. The government is screwing around with all our food products now! Injecting our beef with hormones and our broccoli with mind control serum! Bread is tainted by steroids whose purpose is to enlarge our feet! Bastards they are! That's why I only eat candy corn! It's the only thing that's safe! The government won't touch the candy corn on account of those who control the candy corns are more powerful beings from another dimension."

"I see," Trunks started quickly walking away.

"Hey, Boy!" Bakula called out to Trunks, "I have many pictures of meerkats, would you like to see many pictures of meerkats?"

"Sorry, I can't. I don't have time," Trunks's footsteps hastened, "Thank you for the great advice Bakula."

"REMEMBER!" Bakula yelled, "ONLY CANDY CORN! RESPECT AND LOVE ALL MEERKATS!" As Trunks was quickly making his escape from Bakula he accidently bumped into a familiar face. As their bodies collided, Melvin fell to the ground in the collision.

"Oh I'm sorry," Trunks said helping Melvin up, "I didn't see you."

"That's alright Trunks; you're my hero," Melvin adjusted his glasses, "Besides Larry and I weren't paying attention either. We were to busy concentrating."

"Concentrating on what?" inquired Trunks.

"This!" Melvin proudly held up a round device with a grid screen.

"What is that?" Trunks smiled thinking the device looked familiar.

"I invented it," Melvin grinned, "It's my Orange Stellar Orb Detector."

"Your what?" Trunks questioned.

"This," Melvin reached into his blue backpack and pulled out an object, "is an Orange Stellar Orb."

"Oh," Trunks laughed looking at what Melvin was holding, "That's a Dragon Ball, Melvin."

"A what?" Melvin tilted his head to the side and looked at Trunks's confused.

"Its called a Dragon Ball," Trunks explained, "There are seven Dragon Balls, and each of the seven Dragon Balls has a different number of stars on it. You seem to have the Three Star Ball there."

"I have two more!" Melvin said excited reaching back into his backpack pulling out the Six Star Dragon Ball and the Seven Star one.

"If you can gather all seven Dragon Balls," Trunks elaborated, "You can summon Shen Long the dragon and he will grant you two wishes."

"Really?!" Melvin's eyes lit up.

"Yep," Trunks nodded.

"Happy, happy, joy, joy!" Melvin sang, "How wonderfully wondrous!" Melvin began to dance in a circle, clapping and giggling.

"How were you able to invent a Dragon Radar anyway?" Trunks asked.

"Huh?" Melvin stopped dancing, "You mean my Orange Stellar Orb Detector?"

"Yes," Trunks rolled his eyes, "Whatever you're calling it."

"Well," Melvin began, "When I was peeping in the windows of the Main Street Aerobics Studio the instructor got mad and chucked the Six Star Ball out the window at me. After it landed on my head I examined it and decided it was neat, so I kept it. When I brought it home I studied it further and realized it gave off a faint electromagnetic pulse. Larry came up with the idea to create a device that could detect that pulse. So, I built one."

"I'm impressed," Trunks put his hands on his hips, "Good work."

"Would you be angry if one of my wishes was to wish Usagi a new pair of panties?" Melvin nervously twiddled his fingers, "I mean you're kind of seeing her and I don't want you mad at me."

"Whatever," Trunks jeered, "I could care less who gives Usagi panties as long as I get to be the one that takes them off."

"Oh thank you, Trunks!" Melvin started dancing again.

"Well, have fun Dragon Ball hunting," Trunks waved as he walked away and continued to Usagi's.

It only took a moment for Usagi to answer the door after Trunks rang the doorbell.

"Trunks!" Usagi chirped, "You're right on time. You are so considerate." Trunks stared Usagi up and down. She was wearing a short, pleaded mint green skirt with white knee high socks and a tight, black blouse with a low neckline. After a long stare at Usagi's breasts, Trunks also noticed she had put two sparkly, heart shaped barrettes in her hair.

"I like your barrettes," complimented Trunks, "Are you ready to go?"

"Thank you," smiled Usagi, "Yes I am and I also picked out the DVD for us to watch. Usagi held up a blank, black DVD case.

"What movie is it?" Trunks took the case from her, opened it, and realized the DVD inside wasn't labeled either.

"Ami pirated the movie for me," Usagi told him, "It's a great movie. It tells the story of a young boy whose society is being terrorized by androids. One of the last heroes of the earth and one of the few remaining friends of his family left alive becomes his mentor and teaches him to be a powerful warrior, but then his mentor gets killed too. And the young boy's mom starts to build a time machine and-"

"Whoa, Usagi," Trunks interrupted, "Don't tell me the whole movie. You'll spoil it."

"Sorry," Usagi whimpered and stared at the ground.

"Its okay," Trunks smiled and closed the DVD case and slipped it inside his Capsule Corp jacket's inner pocket, "Let's go."

"Okay, where's your car?" Usagi asked.

"No car," Trunks winked, "Do you have everything?"

Usagi grabbed her pink purse that was sitting on the ground beside the front door and slipped on her pink Mary Jane shoes. "Yep," Usagi walked outside her house and closed the door behind her. "Are we walking?"

"Nope," Trunks swooped Usagi up into his arms and held her bride-like style, "Hold on, Beautiful." Usagi braced herself as Trunks carried her into the air and flew her back to his house.

Usagi liked flying.

"Wow," Usagi giggled as they landed in front of Capsule Corp, "This is your house? It's big."

"Well," Trunks gently put Usagi down, allowing her to stand on her own, "It also has my mom's lab and my grandparents live here too. And then there's my grandpa's lab and my Dad's training room. And we have a few pets too. So it can get crowded."

"Awww," chirped Usagi, "Just like one big happy family."

"If you say so," Trunks took Usagi's hand and brought her inside.

"Trunks, is that you?" Bulma called when Trunks closed the front door.

"Yes, Mom," answered Trunks.

Bulma walked into the foyer where Trunks and Usagi were slipping off their shoes, "Your pizza just arrived a few minutes ago and it's in the kitchen."

"Thanks, Mom," Trunks glanced at Usagi, "Uh, Mom, this is Usagi. Usagi this is my mother."

"It's nice to meet you Ms. Briefs," Usagi bowed to Bulma.

"Oh please!" Bulma grabbed Usagi and hugged her, "Call me Bulma!"

"Oh," Usagi hugged back, "Okay, Bulma."

"Well," Bulma released Usagi from the hug and took a step back to examine Usagi. "You are positively beautiful! Much prettier than the last girl my son brought home. But of course, she had a severe cleft lip, a hump and a receding hair line."

"MOM!" Trunks blurted.

"Anyway!" Bulma grabbed Usagi by the wrist and pulled her towards the kitchen, "The pizza is on the counter and I put out some glasses and soda for you two as well."

"Thank you," Usagi said as they entered the kitchen and walked over to the counter. The smell of the warm pepperoni pizza filled the air with a blissfully orgasmic aroma.

"So," Bulma let go of Usagi's hand, "Tell me a bit about yourself."

"Well, my favorite color is pink, I have a cat named Luna, and I'm a super hero named Sailor Moon," Usagi said.

"That's nice," smiled Bulma as she poured soda into a glass and handed it too Usagi, "Do you have parents?"

"Yes," Usagi nodded, "Two of them."

"That's nice," Bulma poured and second glass of soda and gave it to her son.

"EARTH WOMAN!" Vegeta's voice echoed through the Brief's house shaking the walls, "WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?"

"I'M IN THE DAMN KITCHEN!" Bulma responded, "STOP SCREAMING LIKE A JERK AND GET IN HERE IF YOU WANT TO TALK TO ME!"

"It won't give me my fucking messages!" Vegeta stormed into the kitchen and slammed his cell phone on the counter, "It just keeps beeping at me!" He looked over at Usagi, who was sipping her soda, "Who the fuck are you?"

"Vegeta, calm down," Bulma rolled her eyes, "That's Usagi, Trunks's date. Now what are you complaining about?"

Vegeta turned back to Bulma, "It won't give me my damn messages! Fix it! STOP THE FUCKING THING FROM BEEPING AT ME!"

"Vegeta, there's nothing to fix," Bulma sighed, "We went over this last night, you're just not doing it right."

"Fix the damn phone Earth Women! It just keeps beeping! I want to listen to my fucking messages!" Vegeta picked up his cell phone and wielded it in the air, "I need my damn messages! They said they'd call me when my Xena Warrior Princess Collector's Edition DVD Box Set came into the store! But how can I find out if it came in if this fucking contraption won't give me my fucking messages!?!"

"There's nothing to fix," Bulma repeated, "Just give me the cell phone and I'll do it for you."

"What do you mean there's nothing to fix?!" Vegeta roared, "OF COURSE THERE'S SOMETHING TO FIX! It's not doing what I tell it to do! If it won't obey me it must be broken! And it just keeps beeping! I WANT MY FUCKING MESSAGES!"

"Calm down!" Bulma commanded, "You're such a child sometimes."

"Don't call me a child!" Vegeta smashed his cell phone onto the ground, shattering it and putting a deep dent into the floor.

"I hope you're happy because now it really is broken!" Bulma pointed to the scattered fragments of the devastated phone, "That's your fourth phone this month! You are such an idiot!"

"Vile Earth Woman," Vegeta spat, "I do not have to tolerate this; I am a Saiyan Prince!"

"Oh, Vegeta stop with that Saiyan Prince crap," Bulma scoffed.

"I am the magnificent Prince of the Saiyans!" Vegeta shook with frustrated rage.

"Vegeta you're such an imbecile," Bulma deprecated, "Your home planet was destroyed, what exactly are you the prince of? There's like only three Saiyans left in the entire universe. One's dead half the time, you're brother is on another planet, and there's you. So who, Prince Vegeta, are you the prince of exactly; yourself and two other guys?"

"I am the Great Saiyan Prince!" Vegeta demanded.

"You are an unemployed ass-monkey who can't even work a cell phone!" Bulma yelled back.

"Shut-up vile earth woman!" Vegeta screamed

Bulma screeched "If you didn't have a ten inch cock, I wouldn't have kept you around this long." Trunks started feeling very inadequate.

"Once again further proof of Saiyan superiority!" Vegeta growled.

"Superiority?" Bulma belted out a mocking laughed, "How is it then that you can fly a Saiyan spaceship, but not operate a simple earth cell phone?"

"Simple exactly!" hollered Vegeta, "It's primitive beyond my advance cognitive thought!"

Bulma crossed her arms, "You mean it doesn't have a big red start button?"

"I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU EARTH WOMAN!" threatened Vegeta.

Trunks heaved a sigh and whispered to Usagi, "Let's grab the pizza and go up to my room." After Usagi nodded Trunks's grabbed the pizza, took Usagi by the hand, and led her upstairs to his room. Usagi carried the sodas.

In Trunks's bedroom Usagi stared at the posters on Trunks's dark blue painted walls.

"I like your room," Usagi commented, "You sure do have a lot of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle posters and posters of half-naked ladies."

"Feel free to get comfortable," Trunks put the pizza down on his dresser and took the glasses of soda from Usagi and put them beside the pizza. As Trunks took the DVD out of his jacket pocket and put it in the DVD player Usagi sat down on his bed.

"Trunks?" Usagi said.

"Yes?" Trunks asked as he grabbed the television and DVD remotes from the top of his TV and walked over to his bed and sat down beside her.

"Can you kiss me on the lips again?" Usagi blushed, "I liked that."

"As you wish," he smiled as he placed his hand upon her cheek and moved towards her. Trunks caressed Usagi's lips with his own and felt his being become immersed into the essence that was Usagi. Sizzling waves of vehement eroticism throbbed through his body.

"Sex first, then pizza?" Usagi suggested.

"As you wish," Trunks obeyed.

By the time Usagi and Trunks began to eat the pizza it had gone cold a long time ago.

"Thank you for asking me out," Usagi said in between bites of her pizza slice.

"Oh I forgot," Trunks gasp springing nude from his bed and searching for his jacket.

"What are you looking for?" Usagi's said as she ate the last of her pizza slice.

"I got you something," Trunks found his jacket and pulled out the two candy bars he had purchased from the Tiki Convenience Store. "Here," Trunks walked back over to the bed and handed Usagi the chocolate bars, "Happy first date."

"Awwwwwwwwwwww!" Usagi squealed, "You are so sweet!"

"Eh, it's nothing," Trunks laid back down next to Usagi. Turning on his side and resting his head in his hand he stared at her, "You deserve chocolates."

"You are the sweetest boy I've ever screwed," Usagi leaned towards Trunks and kissed him on the forehead, "Do you wanna watch the movie?"

"Sure," Trunks sat up and grabbed the television and DVD remote from the floor. Usagi reached down next to the bed and picked up her purse, while Trunks turned on the TV. Glancing out of the corner of his eye, as he turned on the DVD player, Trunks noticed Usagi take something from her purse. She put it in her mouth, and swallowed it.

"What did you just eat?" Trunks asked Usagi.

"I took my special Sailor Scout Vitamins, Luna gave me," Usagi said.

"Sailor Scout Vitamins?" Trunks questioned.

"Yep, yep, yep," Usagi reached back into her purse and pulled out a flat, circular, compact-like case and handed it to Trunks. "Luna says I should take one Sailor Scout Vitamin everyday. And after 28 days when I run out, Luna gives me another 28 day supply of Sailor Scout vitamins." Usagi opened the compact-like container for Trunks, "And what makes it extra special-cool is it also has the days of the week listed so if I forget what day it is I can just check the vitamins!"

"Cool," Trunks smirked, "So you take one everyday?"

"Yep, everyday just like Luna told me too." Usagi smiled pleased with herself.

"Wait," Trunks's face became bewildered, "Isn't Luna your cat?"

"Yep," Usagi's attention left Trunks and she looked out the window behind him. "What's up with the sky?"

"What?" Trunks turned and looked out the window as well. The sky was dark and fluttering with flashes of unnatural lightening. Then from somewhere bellow the sky, bursts of gold light shot upwards. "He did it," Trunks said amazed, "Melvin found all the Dragon Balls."

"A dragon's…balls?" Usagi gulped.

"No, no," Trunks corrected, "Dragon Balls are magical spheres that if you can collect them all you can summon a dragon that can grant wishes. Contrary to my mother's stories about her long, taxing quests to collect the Dragon Balls, now a day it's actually become quite easy to find all of them."

"Why is that?" asked Usagi.

"Most likely to avoid unnecessarily drawn out plot lines that seem boring and repetitive," Trunks answered.

"Repetitive?" Usagi sat up and looked wide eyed at Trunks, "You mean like: defeat bad guys, fight in tournament, defeat bad guys, fight in tournament, defeat bad guys, fight in tournament?"

"Exactly, repetitive like that," Trunks got out of his bed and stood up, "Hurry, lets get dressed and check it out. We can watch the movie later."

Usagi bounced out of bed, "Yay! We're going to go see a magical dragon!"

On the other side of the city from Usagi and Trunks; Minako, Artemis, and Luna ran towards Prato Verde Park.

"We must investigate this sudden burst of power!" Luna reminded Minako.

"What's that?" Minako's eyes filled with fear as they ran towards the power source in the park. A humungous reptile beast had soared into the burnt, velvet sky.

"It looks like a giant dragon has taken to the sky above the park!" Luna shrieked.

"We must investigate," Artemis cautioned, "but we must be careful too."

As the trio entered the center of the park they located the source of the power and the giant dragon. Melvin stood in the park before the dragon with seven glowing balls in front of him. Still too astonished to speak, Melvin had yet to make any wishes. The glow of the dragon's power shimmered gold reflecting on the water of the near by pond and a sense of overwhelming energy filled the atmosphere.

"What is this great dragon?" Luna said aloud, "What does it want?"

"Stay on your guard Minako," Artemis warned, "We don't know if this dragon is friend or foe."

Minako became distracted. She noticed Goten standing near by and rushed over to him, "Goten!"

"Minako?!" Goten said surprised, "Hi! How are you? It's so awesome to run into you again!"

"Hi!" Minako grinned, "It's great to see you again too."

"I've been kicking myself for weeks now for not asking you for your phone number before all that alien invasion crap went down." Goten admitted.

Artemis and Luna realized Minako had run off and followed her.

"Here," Minako got a pen out of her denim pants pocket and took hold of Goten's hand. She wrote her phone number on the palm of his hand.

"Thanks," Goten grinned, "Wow, this is fate. I was just flying home from Krillin's when I sensed the power building in the park and then SURPRISE here you are!"

"I'd really like it if you called me," Minako's cheeks turned red.

"Oh I defiantly will," Goten blushed.

"Is Krillin one of the friends you were with in the diner the day we met?" Minako wondered.

"Yes, actually," Goten told Minako, "But Krillin is actually my father's friend. He spends a lot of time with me and my brother whenever my father goes away."

"Where is your father?" asked Minako.

"Dad's dead again," Goten shrugged, "but he should be back again soon."

"Well that is good at least," Minako gazed into Goten's eyes.

"Minako!" Artemis scolded, "There is no time for this foolishness!"

"Huh?" Goten gasped, "Did that cat just talk?"

"Artemis is right," Luna said, "there is no time for stuff like that we have to figure out this situation."

"Shit," Goten blinked, "Now the other cat is talking too."

"Minako!" Usagi called down. Minako, Luna, and Artemis looked up to see Trunks flying towards them with Usagi in his arms. Landing, Trunks put Usagi down. "Are you here to see the dragon too?" Usagi inquired.

"Yes," Minako told Usagi, "Luna said we needed to check it out."

"Hey, Goten," Trunks greeted and walked over to his friend, "What's up, Buddy?"

"Dude, the cats are freaking talking and shit," Goten muttered to Trunks, "Talking people words and-"

"What?" heckled Trunks, "Goten are you drunk?"

"Usagi," Luna said urgently, "You must be prepared to turn into Sailor Moon, we don't know if this is a force of evil or not."

"Holy crap, the cat does talk," Trunks clutched on to Goten's arm.

"I told you, Dude," Goten insisted, "The other one talks too."

"You don't have to worry Luna," Usagi explained, "That's just Shen Long the magical dragon that grants wishes."

"What?" Luna raised a questioning, kitty eyebrow.

"Melvin gathered all the dragon balls together and now he gets wishes," Usagi clarified. Hearing his name Melvin turned around and noticed the small group gathering behind him.

"Usagi is that you?" Melvin called over to the group.

"Hi, Melvin!" Usagi skipped towards him, "Trunks and I came to watch you make your wishes!"

"It's actually really good you came," Melvin snickered, "Because my first wish is about you!"

"Really?" Usagi's eyes brightened.

Melvin turned back around and looked up at Shen Long, "Oh great and powerful and scary looking dragon, I ask you for my first wish! I wish for Usagi to have a brand new sexy pair of pink panties!"

Annoyed that this was his second time having to grant someone the wish of underwear, Shen Long granted Melvin's wish, "Your wish is granted." As Shen Long spoke a sparkly pink thong fell from the sky and landed on Usagi's head.

"Ooooo these are cute," Usagi said taking the panties off her head and examining them, "Thank you, Melvin."

"You're welcome my Underwear Goddess," Melvin's groin quivered with the thought of Usagi in the pink thong. The others made there way over to Usagi and Melvin.

"Hey those are nice," Trunks agreed.

"Yeah, they are cute," Minako nodded, "Melvin can you wish me a pair next?"

"Great idea, I second it," Goten injected, "I agree, wish for a thong for Minako. That's a great second wish."

"Except can I have mine in orange?" Minako requested.

"Please give Minako a thong in whatever color she wants, Melvin," Goten nodded rapidly.

"I'm sorry, but I cannot!" Melvin apologized, "I promised to use my second wish to help Larry."

"What?" Goten asked, "Who is Larry?"

"Larry is Melvin's special friend who no one can see or hear but him," Trunks made a hand gesture indicating Melvin's mental instability.

"So, Melvin is opting to make a wish for his imaginary buddy over wishing for a thong for a hot piece of ass like Minako?" Goten was perplexed, "I don't get it."

"It's his wishes, Dude," Trunks stated, "It really wouldn't be right to take them from him."

"Speak for yourself," Goten shot back, "Your girl already has a thong! I'm taking his other wish!"

Goten was too late. Melvin had already started to tell Shen Long his last wish, "My second wish is for my buddy, Larry, to be restored to his former glory by being returned to his corporeal form once again."

"Your wish shall be granted," Shen Long's raspy voice echoed.

"Wait, what did Shen Long just say?" Trunks questioned flabbergasted.

"I think he said he was going to grant Melvin's imaginary friend wish…" Goten's mouth hung open.

"Farewell," Shen Long said as a flood of golden light transported him away. The seven dragon balls glistened as they ascended high into the heavens and then burst off into seven different directions.

"I don't get it," Usagi blinked rapidly, "if Melvin's friend is imaginary how can the magic dragon grant a wish for something that's not real?"

"No! No! No!" a voice screeched. Usagi and her companions turned around to see who was screeching.

"Hey, Usagi," Minako said, "Isn't that the old homeless lady from near your house that's always trying to show us pictures of meerkats?"

"It is. It's Bakula," Usagi confirmed.

"Nooooooo!" Bakula continued screeching as she ran towards Melvin, "Larry the Destructor will kill us all and obliterate the Earth!"

"Wait…" Trunks queried, "Crazy old homeless lady say what?"

The ground suddenly began to quake as a spiraling black void formed above them and sent forth surges of dark ki.

* * *

Special thanks to my b/f and oldest little sis for proof reading.

Reviews greatly encouraged!


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